Sunday, May 16, 2010

Top 10 ad cliches.



1) The woman having an orgasm while eating breakfast. (Or washing her hair, or eating yogurt, or...) Who would’ve ever thought granola was that satisfying.
2) Dumbass dad. Can’t operate a cell phone or any tech without help from a teen. Has no sense of fashion. Aslost in Lowe’s as Tom Hanks in Castaway.
3) Food porn flyover close-up money shot. It’s at the end of every food commercial for about :10 seconds. (If they could, clients would have it be the full :30.) Unlike regular product shots for cars and such, food requires a sultry voice beg you to partake in succulent shrimp, a juicy steak, or hot, steaming coffee.
4) An [anything]–vention. Shop too much? Work too much? There’s an intervention with your name on it, and friends who care.
5) Cute wordplay. The border between clever and pun clearly overrun with this one. I will not “meat” my vegetables. I will not “Kraft” my salad or whet my “appuretite.” I am not “shopportunistic.”
6) Funny accents. Lottery, the biggest offender. Tech sector. Sports stores.
7) Top 40 songs. Hits of the past, unite! Jingles are dead for the most part because they require originality and something new for customers to buy into. Not so, classic hits. Brands would rather license the tried and true memories from your past, even if they have no real connection to the product. 

8) The clueless office.
 Your office? Cool. Theirs?
9) Cute pets.
10) The perfect driver.